I refuse to give in.

I love having a holiday fall on a Monday.

It would be hard to find someone who truly loves Mondays at work, and while we will always have a start to our work week and thus a proverbial "Monday" of some kind, there is something truly gratifying about having the actual day off. However, as wonderful as having today of has been, I am now preparing for my work week with some angst.

If you read my last blog it detailed an interaction I had with my fellow department members on Friday afternoon before we left for this long weekend. I left feeling relieved and as though I'd made major headway in gaining some confidence. Well, now with the new week looming mere hours away, I find myself dreading that frightful walk back through the doors of our school.

I have no idea what the reaction will be when I arrive at work tomorrow, but based on Friday and based on what I know about my coworkers already, I have drummed up what I believe is a fairly reasonable scene that will likely play out. It involves me being ignored, glared at, and possibly, if conditions are right, talked about behind my back. There's also the extreme scenario which involves some yelling, swearing and/or belittling comments - but that will all depend on the alignment of the stars and how tightly bunched my coworkers panties are in the morning.

Frankly, I'm nervous to return to work tomorrow. I love my students, I'm excited about what I'll be teaching them and the new unit we are starting. I'm excited to have them sit on the carpet and read them a story (in middle school math class!) and relate it to our new unit. However, I fear the guys next door to me. Of course no one should *fear* going to work, but I think more often than not people do to some degree. Most people could probably find one or two or twelve things that cause them angst about their job. Some have legitimate legal complaints they could make. Others are more of the small-scale variety, but still valid none the less.

I could (and might) sit up all night fretting about what my morning interactions will look like. That is exactly what the Enemy wants me to do. He would love it if I get little sleep, have anxiety, fret and fear things I can't control, and ultimately let my guard down and end up saying or doing something out of character. Well, I refuse to give in to his plot.

In Romans 8:31-39 Paul declares something pretty powerful that gives me confidence tonight. Check out this promise:

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]
 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (New International Version - www.biblegateway.com)

To make this completely applicable to my current situation I'm going to add a few things to that last verse: "...neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (including coworkers, work drama, and my own self doubt), will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom. 8:39 - New International Kelsey Version).

Wow. Powerful words right there. Verse 31 reminds us that with God on our side of the battle, who even stands a chance against us? The rest of the passage goes on to illustrate that - despite the best efforts of the world around us (including Satan) - God's grip on us is so mighty that we will never be separated from Him, regardless of the situations surrounding us in our current state.

This gives me hope tonight. I know that regardless of the battlefield I may walk into tomorrow morning, God is on my side. He has a purpose and a plan, and He is fighting my battles on my behalf. I refuse to give into the lie that I'm going at it alone, and I refuse to give in to the temptation to sink to the level of this world. I will stand with Christ beside me, and uphold His glory through my thoughts, words, and actions.

Tomorrow I will focus on my students, since after all, they're the reason I'm there in the first place.